You decide it’s time to buy a home.
Naturally you start talking about it – your hopes, dreams, plans and wishes.
Next thing you know, your friends and family start recounting their near-death stories of the struggles and stresses they went through on their home buying journey.
So, you enter the process with your guard up – determined to “power through” – expecting to just deal with some crap for awhile
But I wonder…are those stressful experiences created because you are looking for it?
You’ve heard so many stories that now you are expecting it.
Maybe it’s time to change the story. Maybe it’s time to change the narrative.
I believe You Deserve a Stress-Free Real Estate Experience.
But you need to have your expectations in the right place.
Here are the 9 Mindful Tips to a Stress-Free Home Buying Experience
1. You Deserve a Stress-Free Real Estate Experience.
That’s right! I’m stating it again!
Regardless of the horror stories, regardless of everything that goes on and everyone involved, you can have that stress-free home buying experience.
I’ve had so many buyers that have said just that. They heard the stories but didn’t experience any of the stress.
All it takes is some Mindfulness of the process and others.
Half the battle is in your head.
You deserve a stress-free real estate experience.
2. Choose Wisely.
When buying a home, the best thing you can have in your corner is a real estate agent.
- One you connect with.
- One you appreciate.
- One you feel appreciates you.
The first part of this is the word “Choose”.
- Don’t just call the agent on the sign in front of the house you saw driving around. Their first obligation is to the seller.
- Don’t just fill out a form online and roll with whoever responds.
- Be intentional with your real estate agent decision: Do your homework. Ask friends and coworkers. Read reviews.
- Take the time to interview your top choices. They will happily buy you coffee and chat.
Then: Go with your gut.
This is a huge piece to a smooth real estate transaction.
[Sidebar: It helps to start this process before you find the home you love. Start early. The right real estate agent can relive some of the getting ready to buy jitters.]
The second part of this is “Wisely”.
Decide what you want in a real estate agent. Young and hungry? Experienced? Friendly? A bulldog?
Keep in mind this person will be working with you for at least 45 days!
I hosted an open house one summer and struck up a conversation with a young couple. They said they were just looking at open houses until they found the one they liked – because they hated their real estate agent. This is so sad to me!
The one person they could have leaned on for advice, service, help, and so much more they couldn’t stand to be around.
Do your homework. Choose Wisely.
3. Trust. Thy. Gut.
Things can happen quick in real estate. You need to trust yourself.
Learn to make decisions from your gut.
How does it feel? Do you have a sense of knowing?
Of course, your head and logic think they are in control. You have your list of things you want. It makes more sense to buy this house. My parents think…this person said…this one room is perfect…
When you are viewing homes, take a moment to stop and ask yourself how the home feels.
Each home has own energy. Its own feel. When you walk in the door, check in. How does this home make you feel? If it clicks all the must have buttons but doesn’t just feel right, maybe it’s not the place for you.
In tight seller markets, where some homes are sold in days (if not hours), you’ll need to make a decision FAST. And that’s really when you need to go with your gut.
Trust yourself to make the right decisions. Knowing that even if your logical brain is screaming, the feel of the house will win out in the end.
4. Go. With. The. Flow
There are many, many people that are involved with the real estate transaction.
The seller. The seller’s agent. The lender. The underwriter. The appraiser. The Title Company.
And then there are so many people that want to protect you. Your parents. Your friends. Your uncle that was in real estate 20 years ago… (he’s my favorite).
Each of these people have lives. Stuff happens in those lives. Any one could drop the ball along the way and impact the sale, your emotional state, or a number of other possibilities.
if you drive your heels in and demand everything goes a certain way, stress will be your friend.
When you relax and understand that people are people, life happens, and things may not always go the way we expect, you’ll find the process will be lighter.
If problems do arise, we discuss options, pivot and keep going.
Go With the Flow.
5. Everyone Has a Story
When there is adversity in the home buying process, it helps to realize there’s more going on than a person being a jerk.
Everyone has a story. Not only what is going on with their present lives, but also what has happened in their past.
- That stonewall “NO” to $500 could be their car broke down that morning.
- The house is part of an estate sale where the 5 adult children making the decisions are still grieving about the loss of their parents.
- The seller had to pay their own closing costs when they bought, by golly!
Or they simply had a bad day.
People are people. With feelings and emotions and stuff.
Plus, there are deep seated beliefs and impressions that have been around since Mom said, “You gotta eat everything on your plate.”
Understanding that everyone has a story helps you appreciate that there is more going on.
This doesn’t mean you lay down your negotiation (see “Stand in Your Power” below), but it releases any anger or frustration at the other party.
And that’s one less stress to deal with.
6. Patience. Patience. Patience.
Yes, patience is a thing. Especially in the real estate transaction.
- We hurry up to submit an offer and wait for a response.
- We asked for home inspection repairs and wait for response.
- We clear the inspection and wait for the appraiser.
- We wait for the underwriter to give the Clear to Close.
Everyone must do their job in the home buying process. Sometimes that’s waiting on someone else before they can do their thing.
It normally takes at least 45 days from offer to close. Before you are handed the keys. You gotta wait on other people.
You just gotta be patient.
We’ll get there. Just chill a bit.
OK – let’s be real. Chances are there’s going to be a bump or two in the road.
- You’ve lost out on the past 2 bidding wars
- The seller isn’t interested in making the repairs requested
- The lender needs some extra paperwork that takes more time
- The moving company suddenly went out of business
Some people will throw up their hands and say, “Oh I guess this was just not supposed to be.”
Here’s the deal:
Have confidence that the home you trusted your gut to put an offer in will be yours.
Everything does work out – even if it’s not they way you imagined.
There’s been so many times where a buyer has lost out on one property only to realize that the property they ended up buying was a better opportunity. They realized they liked it so much better than the first one.
Sometimes, it just takes some perseverance.
It takes some gut to go with the flow, roll over the bumps, and just keep going.
It’ll be alright. Don’t give up. Persevere.
8. Stand in Your Power
Let’s be real #2:
Perhaps after reading this far, you feel like I’m asking you to be a pushover.
“Go with the flow” he said.
“Everyone’s got a story” he said.
“Just persevere” he said.
I do stand behind everything I said. (wrote?)
You still deserve to get the home you want at the price and terms that works for you that the marketplace allows. (sorry but expecting a seller to accept $10,000 under asking price in a tight market is simply not realistic)
Standing in your power is deciding what things you NEED in your home. And then being OK with reassessing, and deciding your needs have changed if necessary, as the deal goes on.
Maybe you need all the closing costs paid by the seller (little cash out of pocket) but paying more purchase price isn’t a problem.
Maybe you start out feeling you need a fence for the dogs. But then you find the perfect home without a fence and decide building a fence is worth the effort.
Maybe the seller comes back with a counteroffer that doesn’t give very much with a sob story about “this” or “that”. This doesn’t mean you should just say “OK, I guess I’ll take it.”
YOU are not responsible for THEIR story.
You can be understanding and sympathetic and STILL counter back with the price and terms that work for you. Of course, the seller may not be willing to accept your counter back – but at least you have presented your needs. You still have the power to make a decision, change your needs, or move on.
Sometimes, we have to play hardball during the transaction. We must deliver some ultimatums and that’s OK.
We’re not here to help the seller out of their problems. We’re here to help you buy a house.
Don’t give away your power.
Don’t feel responsible for another person story.
Yes – you read that right. Meditation.
Meditation has been proven to help you relax.
Let’s get rid of the image attached with meditation of a cross legged person with their fingers together and humming “ooohhmmm”. (Now – if this helps you, keep doing it!)
Meditation is nothing more than finding time and space to slow down, breathe, and ultimately listen within.
It could be 3 minutes at work, on the plane, in the store…anywhere! It’s not hard, complicated or difficult unless you attach rules and expectations to it.
These moments will help you slow down, relax and respond to events mindfully.
And not REACT to them.
Need help? My wife has put together a series of 5 home buying meditations to help you through the process and keep your true self front and center. Check them out here: https://essence-healing.teachable.com/p/home-buyers-meditations
Did you notice? Most of these tips are INWARD things, not outward.
We are not imposing our will on others for a stress-free transaction.
We’re allowing our emotions to be, understanding the humanness of everyone involved, and making a decision to have a stress-free real estate experience.
Now go forth…and buy your home.
Mindfully and in peace.
If you are in the Rapid City and Black Hills area, we’d love to help your find your place. If not, we are happy to help you find an agent anywhere in the nation that can be your partner in the home buying process.
Mindful Living Realty
4447 South Canyon Road
Rapid City, SD 57702